Wk28 into Wk29

Last week went well training wise for me, a few rest days, 3 runs and a good HIIT workout that felt a bit easier than before.

Here’s what I did:

Mon: Rest
Tue: 5.7M easy / massage
Wed: Rest / Edinburgh / walking
Thu: 8.1M easy
Fri: HIIT workout
Sat: Rest
Sun: 6.8M coaching / see friends

Last week my sleep could have been better… average 8 hours, with a crap sleep on Friday night. Insomnia is not good. There are two things that work for me – 1. Exercising / tiring myself out through the day, 2. Listening to an audiobook to get off to sleep.

💯 mile 🎯
34.1 + 20.6M = 54.7M
16/31 = 52%

My hundred mile running target is going well. I’m a few miles ahead of target and feel confident in doing 100 miles in July, and didn’t get much pain / DOMS after my HIIT workout on Friday, so I’m going to put more of a focus on it next week.

I’m nearly 55 miles in, and just over 52% of the way through the month.

I’ve got a new workout using a gym ball – a Tabata workout, with just 4 rounds, 40 secs work, 10 secs recovery. I’ll do it after a 25 HIIT workout on Monday and on Friday too hopefully. With a HIIT and KB workout on Wednesday.

Here’s the plan for next week:

Mon: HIIT & Gymball Circuit
Tue: 4M Run
Wed: HIIT & KB
Thu: Rest
Fri: HIIT & Gymball Circuit
Sat: 13.1M build
Sun: 9M coaching

54.7 + 26.1 = 80.8
By the end of the week it’ll be the 23rd, or 74% of the way through the month, so I should still be ahead.

All of my workouts / runs will be in the morning, and I might do my half marathon on Thursday morning instead of Saturday, but I’ll see how I am. I’d do it before work, and it might be better for me to get a wee lie in instead.

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New adirondack garden chairs

Rainy rest day = building stuff in the garage!

Two adirondack garden chairs to remind us of our time in Canada (they were all over the place there).

🙂

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New album to train to…

I bought a new album tonight… 60 songs and 3 hour long compilations!

Julie, you might like this to run to!

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Garmin share activity & photo

I found a wee thing on Garmin tonight… to make a picture to share with your activity stats on it…

1. In the Garmin app, go to the square with the arrow on it in your activity. (Third along under your name).

2. Select ‘photo with stats’

3. Allow Garmin to access your photos.

4. Select the photo to use.

5. share it to your Facebook or by a message.

Simple!

Sandra you might like this for your Facebook run selfies!

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It’s getting easier…

Today I did my 4th HIIT workout in 3 weeks. Getting back into it was tough, but today the workout felt a bit easier than it had (and it was a harder workout.)

I did the 25 minute HIIT workout below, and finished with a circuit of 10:1 press ups / squats with 10 x 6 hurdle jumps in between. Which took just about 6 minutes. Avg HR 133, max 155.

I’m managing to fit in about 1 strength workout a week, and hopefully my body will be a bit more used to it so it won’t be sore for 4 days after it like I was the first time I did it 3 weeks ago.

I’m hoping to increase it to 2 workouts next week, but I thought I’d write down how I motivate myself to get up early to workout or run.

I’ll rest tomorrow, and run on Sunday, then set my plan for next week depending on how I am after this strength session. Hopefully I’ll not be as sore as I have been!

Here are all the little things that help me be motivated to get up and train early:

Reason – having a reason to train is important to me. I have this cool Garagym I’ve made up which is one reason, but I also want to challenge myself and get strong. I have all of the equipment and I want to get back into strength training with weights, so this is just the start of it. I can set aside time to do 2-4 strength workouts a week, I just need to choose to (and build myself up to it).

Sleep is a very important one, if I want to get up at 6am, and I need 8-9 hours sleep, I really need to be getting into bed before 10pm, ideally 9pm (like an 9 year old lol).

And, in order to make 9pm feel like bed time, it’s important that, where I can, I leave work on time, and have had dinner and wound down by 7 or 8pm. Phone goes away on charge, TV programmes I want to watch which are on after 9pm are recorded. Work life balance.

I got into a habit of staying late at work in April to June, and it definitely had a knock on effect. It might sound silly, but I’ve set an alarm on my watch which goes off at 1630 each day to remind me that it’s time to go home in half an hour. And it works.

Last night was a good example of me getting a work life balance. Up early to run 8 miles, into work for 9am, then I finished work on time, had dinner and then by 8pm I was tired. (The run in the morning helped me be tired / get a good sleep which was good).

My alarm is set for 545am as it takes me a bit to wake up, and I plan to get out of my bed for 6am. All of my workout or running clothes are set out in the spare room and it’s the first thing I do when I get up – get dressed ready to go. Bathroom, brush teeth etc.

I then go downstairs and sit for a bit, to wake up properly, until about 630am. Think and do a quick catch up with the news. (I avoid Facebook until later to prevent the endless scrolling / time wasting). Water and half a banana before strength if I’m hungry.

I also do a weekly plan to make sure I can plan to fit in my workouts with my running. I prefer to workout in the morning, but can do the evening too (or sometimes coach in the evenings).

I know I need to be finished my run or workout by 8am to get ready for work, and I also know I can easy fit in a 25 minute HIIT workout plus a finisher just about anytime, it’s only like 35 minutes!

Here’s a summary of how I motivate myself to get up early to train:

– Sleep, Work Life Balance, Preparation
– Garagym, full of equipment I can play with.
– Get an early night (aim to be in bed by 9pm for 8-9 hrs sleep).
– Lay out clothes / gear for workout.
– Make sure gadgets are charged and ready to go.
– Set alarm for 30 mins before workout time.
– Set a time to be in the gym / out the door (630am on a weekday usually).
– Get water / supplements ready to take, first thing.

– Have workouts prepared and ready (in my Seconds App) for the next morning.

I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to get up to train this morning, but it felt a lot easier than it has. 3 weeks of changing what I do and it’s maybe now time to up it a gear to focus on strength and keep running ticking along.

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People’s perceptions…

Last week I was a bit struck by what a few people, mostly in work, said about me…

It’s funny how people have a perception of you…(and tell you sometimes.)

> ‘Oh no! Lorn’s here… we’ll need to take the stairs instead of the lift!!’
(I think my legs were sore that day and I took the lift back up to the 4th floor, but it made her use the stairs down!)

> ‘I better not complain, Lorn’s here and she’s so upbeat and positive all the time.’ ???

> ‘You won’t eat cake.’
(I will – here’s me at 11am on my birthday!) 😉

Mmmm. I’m sure they maybe said some other things about me too. 😉

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Nightmare Mind Games

In the last month or so, I’ve been waking up a lot between the hours of 1-3am. It’s not been great. I’ve tried to do lots of things to get back to sleep, or even better get a full straight through sleep, but tonight I woke up just after 1am with a bump.

My subconscious is clearly pre occupied with something and tonight I woke in sweats, having been brought back to 1995, some of the worst years of my life. My Mum was alive again, playing mind games with me the ways I remember her doing it so very frequently throughout my teenage years.

It might sound trivial, but it’s something that sticks with me, emotional turmoil, control, annoying little things she’d do to twist your mind and make you feel like you were going insane. It was horrible, and we had years of it. I had over a decade of it until I decided no more.

Well tonight in my dreams, I was back there – and it wasn’t nice.
I’d gone into my childhood room, and something wasn’t quite right. It was back how I remember it, and It looked like a cleaner (or my Mum) had been in. The room was tidier than I’d left it, the bed pristinely made, not how I’d left it. And on the bed was a blank white postcard, and a pen left by someone else.

The details of the dream are fading, but I remember knowing for sure it was my Mum who had left it there. It was the sort of thing she’d do.

My brain was set into overdrive, thinking to myself, why is this on my bed? What does she want from it? I picked up the postcard and one of the sides had a handwritten number like 962/7893 on it, hand written in my Mum’s hand writing. A code for her to use, to know – stupid bl%%dy numbers that meant something to her but meant nothing to everyone else.

I felt angry, and lost. I was stuck, not knowing what to do next. 

Looking at it thinking – does she want me to write to her?! I’ll write to her! I’ll write down everything I can on this little stupid postcard she’s numbered and left me, so she knows it’s from me and from her. And I’ll send it to her so she knows how I feel and what I think. To use her words she’d use to me about me and others I cared about, she’ll ‘get what’s coming to’ her. She’s gone but she’ll get it!

Upset and a bit distraught, I went through to my sister and started ranting at her, shouting through my tormented tears. Trying to get some guidance, some clarity of what this all meant, what I should do. The decision I should make. I had no idea what I should do – what I did know was that I wanted to take control but also give my Mum a piece of my mind.

Then I realised, the answer was to do nothing – rip it up and pretend it never happened. It’s what I should do with all of my bad memories. Don’t play the games. Don’t get involved.

I decided not to play my Mum’s mind game, and I ripped the postcard up and threw it in the bin. If I met her, I’d not talk about it, and neither would she. Glad that I’d taken control and not fallen into the trap she wanted me to – of writing obscenities which she could have used against me. I win. She doesn’t. 

Then as dreams sometimes do, it looped again. I was back walking into my bedroom with the uneasy feeling that something was touched or moved by her, something was being controlled by her. The postcard and pen were on my tidy bed again, waiting for my reaction, waiting for my move…

Then I woke up in a sweat… brought back to one of the worst times on my life. A time where everything was nasty, when everything seemed to be a game. A time when I longed for a home and to have a normal life, whatever that meant.

A time where I needed to make the decision what my next ‘move’ in the game would be.

A time when control was everything and I felt like I was nothing and I had nothing. Stuck in my teenage years, years away from being able to have the life I wanted to have. A time when I wanted to run far away, but I knew there was no point and that only time would fix it.

I was 15, and all I wanted was out. Out of my life away from her and away from it all.

But when I woke up in a sweat, and I was home, then I realised I wasn’t there and I wasn’t 15. I was 22 years in the future and a long time ago I’d got my home that I longed for. My home, my job, my partner, my little garden with little solar lights, my Garagym and my life.

My life is full of rainbows and elephants instead of all the bad stuff I’ve tried to move on from and forget about. 

She’s gone, and I hope I never meet her or what she did, in my dreams again. No more nightmares. No more mind games or emotional turmoil controlled by someone else. I’m away from it all. Time has fixed it.

Now I’m here and it’s a stark reminder of how good things are now. How good I’ve made them, how far I’ve come and how free I am. She’s gone, and I’m here, living and thriving.

I think I might just have forgotten all of that, and it’s about time I got all of that back and be grateful for it. 🙂 no more games, but plenty sunshine and rainbows to come.

Then this morning, I went out for a run just before 7am. Rain wasn’t forecast, but it was that thick smirry rain that was on. I stood for a few minutes waiting for it to go off. Then decided I’d just go. Running along in my shorts and vest, getting pretty wet – I thought to myself – this is rainbow weather. 

And it was, I saw two rainbows in 10 minutes back to 2017, full of rainbows and sunshine. 

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