I’m not really sure how to say this without going into too much detail… but what a relief this week has brought to me.
– – – If you don’t like my personal posts – stop reading now. – – –
Finally, after just over two years as an executor for my Mum’s estate, it’s finally all over. The relief I feel is almost unreal. i finally seem to have my smile back… Super Lorn might be just around the corner.
There was so much to do, as joint executor – for two long long years. It’s been really tough, making decisions and always having it over us, seemingly never ending. But now it’s all over and now the chapter can finally be closed. I think my Granny would be proud.
Although people knew my Mum died two years ago, for me and my brother, being executors never ever went away. You don’t tend to talk about it as it’s not the most exciting subject in the world, it could quite easily become something that you’re dealing with very much on your own. Lucky for me I had people I could talk to about it.
But it was always there, under the surface- and it’s why i felt like there was a black cloud over me sometimes. Having to deal with so many things – HMRC, lawyers, estate agents, belongings, decisions like deciding what to sell and what to keep, or simply what to do, with everything. Weekends, evenings, holidays, it was always in the background for us – it was horrible. Every time I did something for the estate, it was like ripping off a plaster – short sharp and painful… but you knew it was for the best. You knew it would be over one day. I wouldn’t wish it and what we had to do on anyone.
My Mum used to say that she was leaving me to do things myself as a teenager, so that it would make me independent, and I truly believe that every challenge I faced (now and in my childhood), I became stronger from. If I can deal with this, I can deal with anything. I’m so grateful for al that I have and who I’ve become.
My Mum also said to me once, in a fight we were having when I was about 13 – she said in an angry voice ‘You’ll get your comeuppance! Just you wait!’ I didn’t even know what it meant at the time, and had to look it up.
Well these last two years, I most definitely got it, I faced it and I rose above it. The demons have well and truly gone, I’ve accepted my past and moved on.
Throughout the two years, I used my positive memory of my Granny and rainbows to help get me through it (along with friends and some of my family).
Some people have been there for me in a big way (thank you), and some haven’t showed face at all, or even worse, not communicated, or made things much more challenging and upsetting – especially in this last week. I’ll never forget that, and I think I might just forget them.
Some close friends noticed that I’d changed and wasn’t myself. And they were right. The last two years have changed me, challenged me, and now I want to get back to what it was like before all of this was thrown at me.
Last week, whilst we were waiting for the whole thing to be wrapped up, there were so many rainbows, I was starting to laugh out loud each time I saw another one. One day in particular, a big storm went over Glasgow, rainbows aplenty, then the storm was over and sunshine was all around.
Grey rainy skies the last couple of days when I was waiting for it all to be finally over, then today when I ran as it was all over, it was a clear, cold sunny day. Weather has a lot to answer for. 😜 (This double rainbow was sent to me by Donna in Caithness 🙂 )
Now the chapter is closed and it’s time to move on. It’s all over. Now I’m focusing on the future. Getting back to having fun and fitness. Personal training, running, strength, coaching and helping others (I get such a good feeling from it), being good at work and having fun outside of work. Oh and I bought something AMAZING today… 🙂 it’s a secret until Christmas…!
Looking forward to Christmas and what 2018 will bring. I feel like planning a brilliant holiday coming on I think. It’s all over and I’m ready to be back. Looking out for the stars and rainbows.