Letting go – you can do it

Do you ever ask yourself, is it worth the stress?
– All the fights, the hassle, the shouting and arguments.
– The drama, the tears, the worry, the concern.
– The sleepless nights, the pain and upset.
– Is it worth all of your thoughts, is it worth your time and energy?

What if you could chose to eliminate the cause of your stress, worry or upset?

– Be it a person, a job, or anything else that’s causing you stress, is it really worth it?
– Someone who riles you up, makes you feel bad or causes you stress.
– Are they worth you spending time, thought or worry on them?
– Why are you letting this happen?

Put it all into perspective, does it really matter?

– In the grand scheme of things, is it really that important?
– Would your life be better off without them? Without the job or without the stress?
– Can you live without them or it?
– Who else do you have, or what else can you do instead?

How can you eliminate the stress from your life?

– In some cases, it’s simple, you can choose to.
– Maybe it’s not what most people do, and maybe you should think about it and talk it over with those close to you. But you can do it.
– Get rid of the person or the thing that’s causing you stress.
– Choose to take steps and move on to a better life.

What have I chosen to get rid of?
I grew up in a rather crappy family environment.
A couple of parents who were hanging onto a very broken marriage ‘for the kids’.
They stayed together until the last kid (me) was 16.
Probably 7 or 8 years longer than they should have done.

But who’s to say what they should or shouldn’t have done? – it’s all in the past.

From the age of 9, I had arguments, silences, shouting, nastiness surrounding me.
It was a horrible environment to live in.
A rather bumpy childhood – but it hasn’t stopped me.
I had people around me I could lean on, and I learned a lot from it.

It’s made me strive for and be more grateful for the life I have now, and made me nice and calm and able to deal with little bumps in my life occur.
After many years of trying to have a relationship with my mum, I decided I was better off without her.
Lots of things happened, and I tried to understand it all.
But each time I caught up with her when I was a grown up I realised I didn’t like the grown up I was speaking to.

She caused me so much stress, tears and upset, in my childhood and even after I’d grown up.
Even until last year, it hit me one day.
Driving home, I was crying uncontrollably when I realised a few things I hadn’t thought of before.
And I took some time to privately write down my thoughts and sort it out in my head.

Then I chose to put myself in the same location as my mum, at my aunt’s funeral:https://lornpearsontrains.co.uk/2014/10/28/all-is-well-and-remembered-well/
I thought it was going to be hard, I imagined a big scary monster.
But when it came to it, I saw a sad, little, old woman, instead of the monster I expected. I’m much better off without her (even if that might sound sad, or strange to you).

She’s gone, gone forever.
And I’ve moved on and am enjoying my life.
Life is as it should be.
No more rain or storms (if I’m lucky).

It’s sad, sad that she doesn’t have a relationship with me and most of my siblings.
But in my mind, she deserves it after everything that happened.
She’s not worth a thought anymore, and I’m ok with that.
No matter how odd or sad that might seem.

‘Some people keep their hand on the stove 24 hours a day, 365 days a year. They never learn to take their hand off the stove.’

– Being Happy by Andrew Matthews

I learned to take my hand of the stove years ago.
I let go of what wasn’t important.
I chose to remove her and the stress and upset she caused, from my life.
I’ve let go, moved on and she’s no longer a pain or anything in my life.

Maybe there’s something you could be doing with letting go of too?

(Remember, if it’s a big decision, run it by good friends or family before you do anything potentially life changing).

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One Response to Letting go – you can do it

  1. Pingback: My real Mum | Lorn Pearson Trains…

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