Have you ever been in a situation where life has taken the control of choices away from you and you’re left wondering what the hell to do?
Maybe with your health, or career, or through an injury? You can be toddling along, with everything working for you, then all of a sudden we get thrown a curve ball out of no where, and are forced to deal with it.
Illness, a bereavement, redundancy, an accident – sometimes shit happens. 😦
Sometimes we get thrown off course by a big bad curve ball that comes out of no where through no fault of our own.
But it’s how we deal with this curve ball that matters most, and what results from it (good or bad), can usually be directed by you.
You could sit and be angry, at all of the things you can’t change about it. You can sit and talk to others about the injustices, and unfairness of it all. You can complain, worry and cry and be upset. But none of that is probably going to help.
Talking can help – talking about how you feel, or what you can do can help improve the situation can help. Bouncing ideas off those who know you well. Writing can help too.
But complaining about or going over all of the things you can’t change, or listening to other people’s negative talk or hearsay about the situation, probably won’t help.
So what do you need to do to maybe fix what’s happening and move forward?
I’ve been here a few times:
– sidelined with injury, the end of my world running wise. (not really the end btw, it just felt like that at the time)
– my granny dying (my first bereavement) and me being there for my aunt when she needed me and had no one else).
– my aunt passing and me realising that I had to do most of what was needed to get her a good send off (and dealing with a few personal gremlins along the way).
– being made redundant whilst I was looking to buy my first flat in 2004, (and picking up and getting a new job within 3 months, buying my first flat, and paying for the furniture with my payout).
Luckily I’ve not had any illness that’s affected me badly, but I’ve seen others who have had, and I’ve sometimes been very impressed with how they’ve handled it. I’m grateful every day for my health.
Each time I’m thrown a curve ball in life, I’ve looked at the situation logically, and asked myself what I can do to improve things for ME. What can I do to change what’s happening and improve the situation?
Here’s what I did:
1 – Try not to get angry or upset or worried. Worrying and anger doesn’t change anything. Try to look logically, at the facts and take it from there.
2 – Talk it over with a good friend or two (or 5), perhaps someone outside of the situation if you can. Talking to others can get a bit of perspective on the situation and you can bounce ideas off them.
3 – Try to get a bit of perspective of you can, maybe it’s not as bad as you think? Maybe things will be just fine.
4 – Look at your life and have a think about how you’ll deal with this now, and going forward.
What can YOU do to improve your situation?
5 – Let go of things that you can’t change, or things that don’t really matter to you. Some things are just not worth a fight, or the stress that could be involved in the fight.
6 – Have a good think about and look at your situation. Perhaps now is a time to change things? Running injury? Swim or cycle for 6 weeks to give it a rest. Illness? Focus on what YOU can do to get healthy.
7 – Take this as an opportunity to try something else and see if it works for you.
8 – Think positively and pool your resources – lean on others when you need them most. Think of all the people you can rely on and rely on them. This can be when you realise who your true friends really are.
9 – Listen to audiobooks or read books about self improvement, or happiness, to help you get to where you want to be, try:
– The Magic of Thinking Big, by David J. Schwartz
– The Happiness Code, by Domonique Bertolucci
10 – Once it’s all over, remember the curve ball, and how it make you feel. Remember how you got through it, and use it in the future to remind you that you can do anything you set your mind to. Maybe when you look back in a few years time, it won’t be as bad as it seems now.
Remember when my aunt passed away in October last year?
My aunt died, then ‘Hurricane Sheila’ came along (for what seemed like one day only, the day of her funeral).
Roads were shut or blocked by lorries, massive diversions in place, I’d fainted a few days before and had a big black eye – everything seemed to be against me. I could have given up a few times, and just not bothered.
But I took it all step by step and got those close to me and my best friend on the day, to help me. I got to the funeral with 4 minutes to spare, and most importantly, I was able to be there for my Aunt (and my Granny, like I promised her I would).
I was instrumental in giving my aunt a good send off, and I left that day feeling very proud of myself. If I was put on this earth to do one thing, it was that.
Positive thinking helped, but so did talking it over with people (and writing about it), and getting others to help me out when I needed them most. I was very grateful to and really recognised those who helped me.
Anyway, back to you. This might be a tough time for you. Everything might seem to be up against you. You might feel like you’re stuck between a rock and a hard place, with no where to go.
But you can do anything you set your mind to do. You can make any change you want to make, and you can be whoever you want to be. Don’t let the curve ball out you off track.
Catch that ball with both hands, throw it right back out at the world, smile and be proud of yourself. 🙂
Do what works for you, and if wearing a cape works for you, then ‘remember your cape’ and fly. https://lornpearsontrains.co.uk/2013/08/02/my-present-to-you/