Warning: This post has nothing to do with my training or exercise, but I guess more about my life, beliefs and values. It might be a bit soppy perhaps or a bit personal … but it’s important to me and I wanted to share it. 🙂
December: this time of the year is very special to me. With the bright cold short days, icy streets and clear skies, it reminds me of a person who was very special to me. I’ve already written a few times about my Granny, and how important she was to me, and now, ten years on from when she died, I’m remembering her and hoping I’m making her proud more than ever.
When my Granny died ten years ago it was a challenging time for me. My Granny lived hundreds of miles away in the small village of Lochaline on the West coast of Scotland. She lived with her daughter, my Aunt, who had moved in with her around 20 years before. My Aunt didn’t really have anyone else, and didn’t get on much with my Mum so, at the time, ten years ago when my Granny died, I decided it would be best if I went to help my Aunt prepare for my Granny’s funeral.
After my Granny died on Friday the 13th December 2002, I had a few days on my own with my Aunt and helped her sort things out and get organised for the day we laid my Granny to rest. My Aunt was, understandably, upset at times and sometimes flew off the handle at me for suggesting certain things or for saying things the wrong way. One evening after being shouted for the third time in the night, I decided I needed a breather and walked out into the cold midnight air.
All wrapped up warm, and a little upset, I walked a short distance up the icy drive, until I got to the road outside the drive. Looking over the house towards Mull at the big dark sky, I wondered why I was putting myself through this tough time. Why I just didn’t turn up for the funeral and why I felt the need to help my Aunt through a tough time.
As I looked up, I noticed the thousands of stars above me. With none of the usual street pollution, the stars and moon were shining bright and lighting up the cold and icy ground below. I looked left from Orion across the sky to the Plough. I looked towards my Granny’s house where she lay at rest in her coffin. Then just as I was questioning why I was here, and why I was putting myself through this, a massive shooting star went across the sky towards my where my Granny lay in her house.
I realised then that I was here for a reason. Here to help my Aunt deal with what was a very traumatic time for her. She didn’t really have anyone else, and although she might be nice to me one minute and shout at me the next, it was important for me to be there for her. I’m not religious in anyway, but that shooting star sent shivers down my spine. It made me feel like Granny was out there, and proud that I was there for my Aunt when no one else was. I felt my Granny was behind me, helping me through.
I wanted to make my Granny proud, and I think I did. I was there for 5 days, and helped support my Aunt and the rest of my family who were there. I helped lower my Granny into the ground, and took a bit of time to myself after the funeral to appreciate the moment. It was a cold and clear December day where everything seemed brighter and clearer. Clear skies, calm waters, quiet surroundings.
You could easily say the shooting star, the cold, the clear skies were all a coincidence, but I’d like to think it was more than that. From then on, my Granny became the sun, stars, moon and rainbows in the sky, the ice on the ground, the rain on my face and the cold wind in my hair. Always around me, inspiring me to be good, do well and be the best I can be.
Now ten years on, it’s December again, and perhaps unsurprisingly, for the time of year, it is once again, cold, clear and calm.
And now, last weekend I got the bad news that my Aunt is very ill and has been transferred to a local hospital. Six days before the ten year anniversary of my Granny’s death, my Aunt needs me again, and I’m here for her. She’s more or less on her own, with one friend who lives miles away, a brother who lives even further away and a sister who doesn’t live too close, but one she doesn’t really get on with anyway.
I am it. The hospital is less than two miles away from me. I’ve visited her each day since I found out she was there, and she’s not in the best shape. But hopefully I can help her and be there for her as a friendly face and as the niece, or ‘nice’ as she likes to call me, who has always been there for her. It looks like it’s going to be a long road for my Aunt, and I’m not even sure if she realises what day or date it is, but I’ll be there to try and make things as normal and as comfortable as possible for her.
And hopefully, with the spectacular bright clear and cold skies, my Granny will be here for me too. Even the moon is looking pretty remarkable and bright at the moment! My Aunt likes jokes, so I’m going to try and bring her a joke a day… the first one I’ve got is: ‘How did the egg get up the mountain? It scrambled.’… if you have any more bad good jokes, please comment and let me know so I can share it with her. 😉
And finally, as if to really stun and impress me, today is the ten year anniversary of my Granny’s death, and there is to be a massive meteor shower (the Geminid meteor shower). Perhaps another coincidence, but for me, it’s as if it’s my Granny really putting on a show for us, reminding me of how much she appreciates the fact I’m there for my Aunt in her time of need again.
So you can guess what I’m doing tonight. I’m going to go to a quiet dark place away from the city lights and light pollution and look up at the night’s sky, smile and remember her. 🙂 All is well.